Yes. I realize I'm ridiculously indecisive. I either make my decision immediately, or mull over it. Forever. But sometimes the best decisions take time. Just with me it's either none or an eternity. None of the names I've had ever felt just right, I thought I'd found it with "Just Maggie" but I was thinking about it and asked Jason what he thought, his thoughts were that he understood where it came from but others might not, which is true. And then I thought, how selfish does that sound? "Just Maggie", like I'm doing it all on my own, like I'm the only one that matters and I'm not. Not only is Jason part of me, I'll have future children, Lord willing, that will be, and without God I'm nothing. How badly did "Just Maggie" conflict my word of the year, selfless? Awfully bad in my mind!
Oh whale though right? I figured it out eventually! I won't promise I won't change it again, it's not good to make promises you're not sure you can keep. But I'm feeling pretty good about this one. Birds have always been a big part of my life. My great-grandparents and both sets of grandparents have ALWAYS fed the birds. Always. We use to sit and watch them and they would tell me what all the birds were and such, and now my mom does. I'm ashamed to say I haven't learned all the birds, but I will. It's something I want my children to know.
On my dad's side of the family, we're all about Cardinals. They were my granddaddy's favorite bird and they're still a big part of our life. On my mom's side, it's hummingbirds. They were my Popaw's favorite. Unfortunately I never knew my granddaddy, but my Popaw was and forever will be one of the 3 more important men in my life (along with my daddy and Jason of course). At our wedding, we had birds, that my mom and I made by hand, everywhere. One of mine and Jason's favorite songs, Little Bird by Ed Sheeran. Why didn't I think of this before?
Birds always seem happy, singing, chirping, flitting from branch to branch, splashing around in little birdbaths and such. And so, so cute! Especially the tiny little hummingbirds, and not only are the beautiful, but incredibly fascinating and unique in the bird world. And isn't that what I should be as a Christian? Unique and different from the rest of the world? You can't corner a hummingbird, they can fly backwards! And with God on my side, I'll never be cornered, he's given me, and everyone in the world, a way out.
This is the hummingbird charm I got my mom and I, Jason and I had just left the St. Louis Zoo and as we were walking to the car I snapped a picture, like I said, walking, and the tree's shade just happen to be like this at that moment, couldn't have been more perfect!